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[personal profile] polarishotel
Hit my personal word requirement (at least 2k per day) at just about midnight exactly today, which was amazing, considering how much time I spent not writing today. It's been a really hard day for me emotionally. Just have had a lot of shit going on and I'm on a lot of anxiety medication right now, so forgive me if this is a little all over the place.

So today's writing consisted primarily of two scenes: One in which Shui, Seth, Daniel, Ray (and some others, including a brief cameo by Sekhmet) eat dinner consisting of some bizarre fajitas (which Shui refers to as "fajitos"). The second is our writer, James, his bad day (because all of my characters seem to be having bad days - probably a severe projection of my own state of mind lately) and how he gets past it and starts actually writing. (yay, probably more projection.) This scene also introduces his muse Seshat. She's a cat, and one of the dreamwalkers (although when walking, she has a human form.)

Yeah, the more I look at this, the more this becomes a fantasy novel and the more a little part of my soul kind of dies a little. Oh well. I'm not meaning to slam the genre - I grew up on fantasy - it was my entire adolescence/childhood...it's just that, as an adult, going back to them from time to time, I seem to have ....grown out of them. They don't hold the same enthralling beauty they once held for me, I guess. They feel cheap now that I'm "all growed up" I guess. Maybe some part of me wanted it to all be real when I was a kid. Stupid, huh? Now that I'm a bitter grown up, I can't appreciate fantasy anymore. A lot of it seems badly written to me now, too. I'm also a lot more of a cynical critic now, which also probably has a lot to do with it. Oops.

So, following my own personal goals, tomorrow, I need to be at 10,583 words to be on target if I write 2k words tomorrow. God, that looks like an awful number. Just looking at it makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. D: That's like...a fifth of the way to the end. I'm not supposed to have to be there until sometime between days 6 & 7, rounding out the end of the first week and it's only just dawning on day 4 (IT'S NOT DAY FOUR UNTIL I SLEEP, BITCHESSSS) So I have plenty of time to actually be there, but I'd like to hit 2k a day, and that day I cranked out 4k in one day really put me ahead, so yeah. Off to read something [livejournal.com profile] lightningrapier sent me, then grind a few more levels for her so she can play this godawful Final Fantasy game for DS that she was sent to review because I said I'd get her characters up to level 16 for her. Then maybe a movie or bed or ...something. I don't know. I feel really drained but I have no interest in sleep. Derp derp.
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